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60 Short Funny Quotes and Funny Wise Sayings

Looking for the best funny phrases and wise words to sayings about life. Here we share 60 short funny quotes and funny wise sayings with beautiful images and funny pictures.

Short Funny Quotes and Funny Wise Sayings

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Steven Wright

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

Some people are like Slinky’s. Pretty much useless but make you smile when you push them down the stairs. 🙂

Every day is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.

I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

60 short funny quotes and sayings

short funny quotes and sayings

I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried, but they wanted cash.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then use the profits to buy an assault rifle. See if life makes the same mistake twice.

Why can’t you play cards on a small boat? Because someone is always sitting on the deck.

60 Short Funny Quotes and Funny Wise Sayings

short Funny Quotes and Funny Wise Sayings

Dear optimist, pessimist, and realist, while you guys were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it. Sincerely, opportunist.

Funny Quotes to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they’ll start using it.

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away and barefoot.

I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up?

When I die, I wanna go like my grandpa…peacefully…sleeping…not screaming, like the passengers in his car…

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday.

60 famous funny quotes and humorous quotes

famous funny quotes and humorous quotes

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life! If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.

Cool Funny Quotes – Amusing Sayings and Quotations

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

A best friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

The more you weight the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.

The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.

Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny quotes and sayings

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said.

What real romance is? I think a lot of people don’t understand what real romance is. Anyone can buy flowers, candy, and jewelry. The truly romantic things in life are those little things you do every day to show you care, and that you’re thinking of them. It’s going out of your way to make them happy. The way you hold her hand when you know she’s scared, or you save the last piece of cake for him. The random text or call in the middle of the day, just to say “l love you” or “l miss you”. The way he stops to kiss you when he passes by. It’s dedicating her favorite song to her, and letting her eat your fries; telling her she’s beautiful. It’s putting your favorite show on pause so she can tell you about her day, and laughing at his jokes, even the really lame ones. It’s slow dancing in the kitchen and kissing in the rain. Romance isn’t about buying. It’s about giving. True romance is gestures.

Home: Where You Can Say Anything You Want, Because No One Is Listening To You Anyway.

It’s Hard To Find A Friend that’s…. 96% Funny 98% sexy And 100% Sweet so Don’t Lose Me!

Why does the need To pee intensify by a million when you are trying to unlock the door to your house?

Isn’t it freakin’ frustrating when you’re the only person who can see how evil and manipulative someone is, and everyone else is blind to it?

She’s the woman who believes that what comes around goes around. The one who hopes for a better day. The one who won’t give up on you. She’s the woman who’s unlike the rest. The one who spent her days smiling, and her nights crying. She’s the woman who would love to be loved. The one who looks so damn strong, but sometimes feels so weak. She’s the woman who picks herself up every time she falls.

A good man is a woman’s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comforts her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could’ do. He will make sure she always feels as though she’s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident. a sexy, seductive, and the invincible person was alive.

Find someone that isn’t afraid to admit they miss you. Someone that knows you’re not perfect but treats you as if you are. Someone who couldn’t imagine losing you. Someone who gives their heart to you completely. Someone who says I love you and proves it. Last but not least, find someone who wouldn’t mind waking up to you in the morning, seeing your wrinkles and grey hair but still falls in love with you all over again.

Short Funny Quotes Images and Funny Pictures

60 short hilarious quotes and funny quotes

short hilarious quotes and funny quotes

60 short funny quotes about life

short funny quotes about life

60 short funny thought of the day

short funny thought of the day

60 short silly quotes and sayings

short silly quotes and sayings

60 Short cool quotes and sayings and happy funny quotes

Short cool quotes and sayings and happy funny quotes

60 short fun daily quotes and funny jokes quotes

short fun daily quotes and funny jokes quotes

60 short funny but meaningful quotes and funny thought 9

short funny but meaningful quotes and funny thought

60 Short best quotes of all time funny 10

Short best quotes of all time funny

60 Short funny quotes and sayings about life

Short funny quotes and sayings about life

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short funniest quotes in the world

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funny short quotes and funny phrases

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Short cool funny quotes funny statements

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Short best funny quotes and funniest quotes ever

60 Short famous funny sayings and funny posts

famous funny sayings and funny posts

60 Short funny weird quotes and hysterical quotes

Short funny weird quotes and hysterical quotes

60 short thought of the day funny humor quotes

short thought of the day funny humor quotes

60 short joke quotes and funny thoughts

short joke quotes and funny thoughts

60 Short top funny quotes and funny wise quotes

top funny quotes and funny wise quotes

60 Short funny status quotes and witty sayings

funny status quotes and witty sayings

60 Short funny happy quotes and daily funny quotes

funny happy quotes and daily funny quotes

60 Short jokes funny quotes and quirky quotes

jokes funny quotes and quirky quotes

60 Short funny facts quotes and interesting quotes and sayings

funny facts quotes and interesting quotes and sayings

60 Short humorous quotations and hilarious quotes and sayings

humorous quotations and hilarious quotes and sayings

60 Short clever quotes and funny weird quotes or sayings

clever quotes and funny weird quotes or sayings

60 Short crazy funny quotes and funny everyday quotes

crazy funny quotes and funny everyday quotes

60 Short funny emotional quotes and funny thought for the day

funny emotional quotes and funny thought for the day

60 Short funny intelligent quotes and funny humour quotes

funny intelligent quotes and funny humour quotes

60 Short humorous quote of the day and funny strong quotes

humorous quote of the day and funny strong quotes

60 Short funny proverbs and outrageous quotes interesting sayings

funny proverbs and outrageous quotes interesting sayings

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