Minions have been everyone’s favorite of everyone. Since years people have been looking for minion quotes and funny minion jokes. These funny Minion quotes and lines are some of the most memorable moments from the movie. The Minions movie is all about the lovable
Everyone loves minions funny text messages and these hilarious minion quotes will put a smile on your face. We hope you will love them. See more ideas about Minions quotes, Minions, Minions memes, Minions images. Here are 40 Funny Jokes Minions Quotes With Images Funny Text Messages and Funny images!
Funny Jokes Minions Quotes
1. “Never hold your farts in. Thay travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where shitty ideas come from.”
2. “Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.”
3. “Exercise? I thought you said “Extra fries””
4. “Alcohol does not make you fat it makes you lean… Against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.”
5. “That awkward moment when you still can’t understand someone after they have repeated themselves about five times.”
6. “ “I need to pee, but I don’t want to get out of bed.” – Life’s biggest struggle.”
7. “Me… Jog??? Pffffft… If you see me running. You better run too cuz there’s something chasing me!”
8. “I should be given an award for keeping my mouth shut when there is so much that needs said.”
9. “Don’t grow up, it’s a trap!”
10. “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept stupid people the way they are, courage to maintain my self control and wisdom to know that if I act on it, I will go in jail.”
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11. “Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at take time to thank a stupid person for their contribution.”
12. “Here is your nose I found it in my business.”
13. “I wish my wallet came with free refills.”
14. “Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out.”
15. “I hate it when people text me: “Call me” Im gonna start calling people and when they answer, I’m gonna say: “Text me”, and hang up.”
16. “If you could read my mind, you’d back away slowly, then run for your life!”
17. “Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says “Oh crap, she’s up.””
18. “We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.”
19. “A best friend is someone who when you show up at their door with a dead body they say nothing, grab a shovel and follow you.”
20. “I don’t have a bad handwriting, I have my own font.”
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21. “I hate that moment when you’re tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed, your body is like just kidding..”
22. “I’m in desperate need of a 6 month vacation twice a year”
23. “Raise your hand if you have a bad habit of laughing at serious moments.”
24. “So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out”
25. “It’s ok to talk to yourself, it’s even ok to answer yourself… But when you ask yourself to repeat what you just said, you have a problem!”
26. “Dear god, I have been very good today. No grumpy thoughts, no swearing, no smacking people in the head and no whining at all. But I’m about to get out of bed now, so I may need your help with the rest of the day.”
27. “Blonde’s walk to heaven a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step before she laughs. Finally, it’s the blondes turn. She gets all the way to the 99th before she”
28. “I’m that type of person that tries to fall back asleep in the morning just to finish a dream.”
29. “You know how you can smack something to get it to work? I wish I could do that with people.”
30. “I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says: “Haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.”
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31. “I hate mosquitoes. I mean I know I’m delicious but damn!”
32. “Me? Mature??! Ha! I still laugh when the ketchup bottle “Farts”!”
33. “When I first started my job: What needs to be done? What else I can do to help? Me now: Fire me, I fucking dare you”
34. “Apparently, I have an attitude. Who knew!”
35. “I’m an odd combination of “Really sweet” and “Don’t mess with me””
36. “The real definition of “Never mind” is “You should’ve listened the first time.”
37. “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”
38. “Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.”
39. “My teacher pointed me with his ruler and said: “At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot!” I got detention after asking which end.”
40. “Don’t just assume that when I’m angry, I’m on my period. Otherwise when you’re sleeping I’ll just “Assume” you’re dead and bury you in my backyard.”
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41. “I am who I am. Your approval is not needed!”
42. “Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where shitty ideas come from.”
43. “Dear Mr. Spider unless you pay rent… …you can’t live in my house.”
44. “If stress burned calories I’d be a super model…”
45. “How to stop time: Kiss How to travel in time: Read How to escape time: Music How to feel time: Write How to waste time: Social media”
46. “I hate it when im singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.”
47. “Sometimes you just want to throw fertilizer at people so they grow up!”
48. “If you can read this with ease you are twisted! And have an awesome talent! This is both backwards and upside down! Like and share if you can read this!”
49. “I’ve taken up photography because it’s the only hobby where you can shoot people and cut their heads off without going to jail.”
50. “I’m thankful my childhood was filed with bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many likes you get on a picture.”
51. “Here’s to the girls: To the girls who don’t wake up with perfect hair. Who don’t mind eating a big Mac instead of a salad. Who don’t wear 50 pounds of makeup. Who’d rather spend the day in sweatpants than skinny jeans. Who love the comfort of T-shirts. Who don’t get all the guys. Who’s not “Popular” but feels like it when they’re with their friends. Who stick to sneakers instead of heels. Who aren’t way. Who don’t get everything they want. Who doesn’t need a guy to tell them that they are beautiful.”
Funny Jokes Minions Quotes With Images | Funny Text Messages
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Best Funny Minion Jokes. Funny minion quotes and jokes to make you laugh all day. These funny Minion quotes and lines are some of the most memorable moments. See more ideas about minion jokes, minions funny, funny minion quotes.
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