45 Sarcastic Funny Quotes on Life & Sarcasm Sayings

Funny Sarcastic Quotes with Images. Sarcasm is a wry form of humor. If you are a sarcasm lover and enjoy this particularly biting form of humor, then these sarcastic sayings are a must-read! We give you the ultimate list of sarcastic quotes, quoted by some famous people, and some anonymous authors.

Yeah, naw, surely the quotes that you’ll find below aren’t sarcastic at all. Not the slightest bit. They’re just as light and cheery as daffodil fluff floating in the azure summer sky, no dual meanings, no sly remarks, and no storm clouds here. Nuh-uh, no way. They aren’t even that funny … See more ideas about sarcastic, funny quotes, sayings.

Sarcastic Funny Quotes

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1. “I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.”

2. “Therapy is nice… But screaming fuck at the top of your lungs for 10 seconds is a lot faster and cheaper!”

3. “You know you’re a mom when you’ve been washing the same load of laundry for 3 days because you keep forgetting to put it in the dryer.”

4. “Yes, I know there’s a special place in hell for me. It’s called a throne.”

5. “If I ever say “Do you want me to be honest?” Say no.”

6. “Parenting is hard, especially trying to be patient with little versions of impatient you.”

7. “You never realize how truly sarcastic you are until you have a mini-me who acts the same way.”

8. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”

9. “At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.”

10. “I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.”

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11. “Bitchcraft: The art of pissing people off by telling them the truth.”

12. “If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on”

13. “Sleep well middle finger, you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.”

14. “From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.”

15. “Sometimes I meet people and feel bad for their dog.”

16. “Worry about your character and not your reputation, because your character is who you are, and your reputation is only what people think of you.”

17. “It’s going to be one of those days. The voices in my head are fighting. My imaginary friend is running with scissors. And at one point, one of my personalities wandered off.”

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18. “They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store they lied, everybody else had clothes on”

19. “The short answer is no. The long answer is oh fuck no.”

20. “ “Ridiculous” Because sometimes “Fucking ridiculous” more than applies, but isn’t socially acceptable.”

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21. “I’m not rude. I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.”

22. “My mind is like my internet browser 19 tabs open 3 of them are frozen & I have no idea where the music is coming from”

23. “Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.”

24. “Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people.”

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25. “After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says wtf”

26. “I don’t care what people think of me. At least mosquitoes find me attractive.”

27. “Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.”

28. “I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.”

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29. “Opinions are like orgasms… mine is more important and I really don’t care if you have one.”

30. “Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off”

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31. “I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger… then it hit me”

32. “I see people around my age mountain climbing, I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance”

33. “If you don’t like me and still watch everything I do bitch you are a fan.”

34. “You got a dream you got to protect it”

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35. “How many dips would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip?”

36. “Oh, sweetie, that high horse makes your ass look huge”

37. “Somewhere out there there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.”

38. “What you not gone do is… -African American proverb – said in response to someone who is trying to handle you any kind of way.”

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39. “I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from ‘you probably shouldn’t say that’ to ‘what the hell, let’s see what happens.’”

40. “Whoever is in charge of making sure I don’t do stupid shit is fucking fired.”

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41. “Too bad you can’t photoshop an ugly personality.”

42. “I’m not bossy! I have skills…leadership skills!! Understand?”

43. “You sound better with your mouth closed.”

44. “Quick tip: Mind your own motherfucking goddamn business…bitch.”

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45. “I’m 99% angel, but ohhhh, that 1%.”

46. “If your mom is between 36-44 don’t try her. TUPAC, biggie & Dr.DRE raised her.”

47. “I wonder how often my kids look at me and think “This bitch is crazy”

48. “I’m never sure if I actually have free time or if I just keep forgetting shit.”

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49. “When I see my best friend crying: Who do I have to kill?”

50. “Coronavirus has turned us all into dogs. We roam the house looking for food. We’re told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides and walks.”

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51. “Always remember. God will never take anything away from you without the intention of replacing it with something much better.”

52. “Don’t tell people your dreams. Show them.”

53. “1998: “Don’t get in car with strangers” 2008: “Don’t meet people from the internet alone.” 2019: UBER.. order yourself a stranger from the internet to get into a car with alone.”

54. “My biggest fear is a killer saying some funny shit while I’m playing dead.”

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55. “Instead of saying “Have a nice a day” I think I’ll start saying “Have the day you deserve. You know, let karma sort that shit out.”

56. “Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.”

57. “An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough”

58. “When I see lover’s names carved into a tree, I don’t think it’s cute. I just think it’s strange how many people take knives on a date.”

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59. “The stuff you heard about me is a lie, I’m way worse.”

60. “The devil whispered to me, “I’m coming for you!. I whispered back, “Bring tacos”.”

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61. “You’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.”

62. “Everyone has the right to be stupid – But you’re abusing the privilege.”

63. “There are two rules in life 1. Never give out all the information”

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64. “Don’t be using the good scissors for that”

65. “Some people are like clouds when they disappear it’s a beautiful day”

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Most Funniest Quotes which are also sarcastic Here is a collection of some great sarcastic quotes on images.

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Are you looking for the best sarcastic quotes? Look no further! Here are 45 funny sarcasm quotes and sayings to make you laugh.

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