38 Amazingly Funny Inspirational Quotes
Top 38 Amazingly Funny Inspirational Quotes “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright Looking for funny inspirational quotes about life? Here are our favorite funny motivational quotes about life, work and becoming successful.
#1. Life always offers you a second chance, it’s called tomorrow.
#2. All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
#3. My brain is like the Bermuda Triangle… Information goes in and then it’s never found again.”
#4. Sometimes even the devil on my shoulder asks ‘what the hell are you doing now?’
#5. I did a push-up today. Well, actually I feel down, but I had to use my my arms to get back up, so… close enough now I need chocolate”
#6. That amazing moment when you hear a song you haven’t heard in years and you still know every word.”
#7.If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese
#8. The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
#9. When I’m quiet, those that don’t know me look at me and think I’m shy. People who know me think OMG! She’s thinking! Everyone run for your life!”
#10. When someone does math without using a calculator witchcraft!”
#11. “It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley
#12. Every family has one weird relative. If you don’t know who it is, then it’s probably you.”
#13. Have you ever just looked at someone and said… #seriously?”
#14. Honestly, I’m an angel. The horns are just there so my halo sits straight.”
#15. I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face.”
#16. If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big. – Donald Trump
#17. 8 year olds today have: Facebook, Twitter, Iphone and Ipod. When I was 8, I had a coloring book, crayons, and an imagination.”
#18. When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’” – Sydney Harris
#19. I’m losing my mind but as long as I keep the part that tells me when I goota pee I should be ok”
#20. God is like oxygen. You can’t see him, but you can’t live without him.”
Amazingly Funny Inspirational Quotes
#21. Teenagar for sale: Eye rolling, back chatting, temper tantrums, and ‘I already know everything’ attitude included, all sales are final.”
#22. We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw
#23. Sometimes I’m just like…. I need a hug!”
#24. You say I’m dirty minded… …. But, how did you understand what I meant?”
#25. I turned my phone on #airplane mode” and threw it into the air. Worst transformer ever”
#26. They say we learn from our mistakes… that’s why I’m making as many as possible. I’ll soon be a genius!”
#27. Don’t be afraid of a few extra pounds. Fat people are harder to kidnap..”
#28. You can’t always control who walks into your life… but you can control which window you throw them out of.”
Funny Quotes about Inspirational
1. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” — Erma Bombeck
2. “If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” – Confucius
3. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett
4. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” — Blaise Pascal
5. “You’re at your best when you don’t know what you’re doing.” – Paul Stanley
6. “Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.” — Oscar Wilde
7. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.” —Garry Shandling
8. “Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” — Sholom Aleichem
9. “I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it.”
10. “A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.” – Don Marquis
11. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler
12. “By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it.” — Bill Vaughan
13. “I’m not the smartest fellow in the world, but I can sure pick smart colleagues.” ― Franklin D. Roosevelt
14. “The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.” — Bette Midler
15. “I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road.” — Stephen Hawking
16. “Turning our abilities from stagnate puddles to rushing rivers can happen when we apply ourselves to the task.” — Warren Philip Gates
17. “If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big.” – Tom Hirshfield
18. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”– Bob Hope
19. “Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories.” – Jessica Simpson
20. “Without the will or desire to achieve one is like flotsam on the oceans of time.” — Steven Redhead
21. If you don’t know where you’re going any road will do.” — Lewis Carroll
22. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love
23. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – A.A. Milne
24. “The great thing about taking big chances when you’re younger is you have less to lose, and you don’t know as much. So you take big swings.” — Amy Poehler
25. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” – Yogi Berra
26. “Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.” — Mark Twain
27. “I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” – Harold Wilson
28. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best – that is inspiration.” – Robert Bresson
29. “Too often we visit the well of divine abundance with a teacup instead of a bucket.” – Elinor MacDonald
30. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” – Anais Nin
31. “Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.” — Sholom Aleichem
32. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron?” – George Carlin
33. “Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” – Steven Wright
34. “The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.” – Albert Einstein
35. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.” – Maya Angelou
